Warwick Life Strategies

**Reposting as requested **

Are you a resolution maker? Like many others in the world, you may have started this new year with a list of "Must Do's" (such as sleeping more or going the gym) and "Must NOT Do's" (such as eating fast food or smoking).

The great thing about resolutions is they don't have to be written for January 1st. In fact, some people find them to be more effective when they're set at other times of the year. Regardless, they do serve an important purpose. They're helpful in causing you to look at your big picture goals/vision and to examine how satisfied you are with your life today in comparison to the life you desire.

In making these key changes and moving forward, working with a coach can be very effective in helping you explore and further define your goals and to align them with your passions. We can help you to navigate through the complexities of life as you journey towards your goal (overcoming roadblocks that stand in your way). As well, we'll  keep you accountable to the small, manageable steps that you've created en route to your end goal.

In reflecting upon the goals that you may have set this year, was "having a positive outlook and attitude" anywhere on your list? Some of us naturally exude positive energy (and if this describes you - thanks - the world needs more of you around!) I read an article in the January 2011 copy of Alive Magazine (www.alive.com) called Power Up (Barb Langlois, RN, MSN) where she states that a positive outlook can be beneficial to us in many ways but that negativity is all around us, both externally and internally, which causes some difficulty. She makes the point that negativity breeds negativity and that negative stories and conversations "become ingrained in our minds and provide a reference point for our future thoughts, actions, and expectations."

They say that misery loves company, and negativity can inadvertently affect our own feelings and decisions. In turn, others negative experiences (that are shared with  us) may become our reality in that they serve as our reference points when we encounter similar situations or events and when we are forming opinions. At times, we fail to differentiate ourselves from others. We need to acknowledge our own uniqueness in perception and experience, and know that we may not feel, interpret or react in the same way.

In the article, Langlois suggests that when negative gossip is being shared, try to avoid engaging and instead, share something positive. Change the conversation around and make a positive contribution. Yes, sometimes gossip can be useful. It can make us feel closely connected to those with whom we are sharing and it can create a sense of belonging, understanding, and intimacy. However, it can also be incredibly destructive, unproductive and even harmful to our own well being. If you take the author's suggestion and try to shape a negative discussion into a more positive one, it is of course crucial to exercise good judgment and sensitivity. Even if you see the conversation as useless, negative banter, the speaker may feel differently. To him/her, they may be expressing a significant experience and/or it may be an emotional hot button for them. 

In next week's blog, I'll continue this conversation with a discussion on the effects of internal negative "noise", as well as how we can try to avoid making broad (negative) generalizations.

Make it a fantastic week!

 Moving you forward, WLS